I didn't take these pictures, actually I "pinned" them on pinterest. I would say that over the last six months I have been doing a lot of dreaming… and for me, I use pinterest to dream. The visual person inside me loves to just scroll through hundreds of pictures. I tend to follow crazy bohemians and hippies. So now when I scroll through my front page, I see a lot of pictures of bohemian homes, veggie dishes, and chicken coop ideas. Basically this is a perfect dreamland for me to scroll through while nursing Blanche some days.
The reason I even bring this all up is because I made a board about a month ago called, "The Bohemian Farm." I started pinning things like the pictures above. And links to articles about having your own family cow and raising chickens.
This is a new dream. Or at least one I didn't really see myself having. For such a long time, my dreams have been to travel the world. And they still are in some ways. But whats funny is I don't have a "travel" board on pinterest. I guess for me I feel like I have traveled. At least some. Enough. For the moment. Some days I crave being in India or Spain again. But I have also come to see that I don't have to do everything tomorrow. Especially when I still have college loans. After getting married and starting a family I have started to see the importance of being near family (well, at least in the same country) and being able to take a day at a time for what it is that I am suppose to be doing in life.
Dreams are tricky because most of the time it reveals a lot about what a person believes. For many years I have sort of believed that I could sum up my life's purpose pretty easily. "We love because he first loved us" 1 John 4:19. I'm not really very good at memorizing. But I think most children could get this verse down. Plus it sums up so much of my life. Most of the time I feel that any reason or capability I have of truly loving those around me is because of how God has loved me. So really, when doing anything in life, I knew I wanted to love. To either love the orphan or widow or whoever God put in my life.
The funny thing is sometimes life doesn't go the way you think it will. I honestly envisioned myself single until at least thirty. Traveling the world as a gypsy. But then the month before I graduated from college I started dating Andrew, was married a year and a half later, and by our first year anniversary I was seven months pregnant. Things happened exactly how we wanted them too. Blanche wasn't an accident. We wanted a baby. We want a big family. So I guess my dreams are changing.
The thing is though, I am realizing every day that I am still loving. I am having to love in some of the most difficult ways. Like loving my daughter when she is awake at three am, or my husband when I am really really tired. I am loving the waiters at that Mexican restaurant we love to eat at. And I'm loving my neighbors (literally). I guess I am learning not that I am too small to change the world, but that I don't have to buy a plane ticket to change it. Changing the world for the better means being the better. Whenever you may be. I am changing the world (or trying to) by trying to buy my clothes from fairly made companies. I am trying to change the world by being considerate of the earth and my impact on it. Sometimes it doesn't feel like I am changing the world by hanging cloth diapers, but I am doing my best with what I have. And thats what I keep reaching towards.
I don't know if "A Bohemian Farm" is the end goal. Or the beginning goal. Or maybe someone in between. I have visions of having all my laundry on the line, gathering fresh eggs out back, and vegetables from the garden. I imagine having four kids painting in their underwear in our own backyard. Of making strawberry jam and canning it. I see piles of mud boots. Smiles and and an old country tub. Maybe this is what it looks like in my own mind to settle down one day.
One thing that Andrew and I do know, is that we came to Siloam Springs, Arkansas to go to college. And we did that. And maybe he won't be able to support our family working at a coffee shop forever. I haven't said much to many, but we do have dreams and hopes that could one day soon turn into the first step of making our dreams become reality. We might move to Austin, Tx. I really want to move. I am restless to move.
There is a plan, but nothing is set as of yet. There hasn't been a job offer, but I may have already packed our afghans. See, I'm still a bit of a gypsy. Always ready to go.
And one last, thing… I may have to stop blogging for awhile. We are trying to put every last dime into savings to make moving a reality. Which means we may not have internet. I might be able to still write occasionally on my phone… but the picture posting and long writing may have to be kept to myself for a few months while we save to move. I think I still have the rest of the month to post, and I will of course write any updates as we know them. Maybe by writing out these dreams and goals… we can be that much closer!
Websites I pinned the pictures from:
http://www.planete-deco.fr/2012/11/26/une-renovation-dans-la-vallee-de-lhudson/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/paperdolly/4625417212/in/faves-emmabradshaw/
http://keepingitcozy.blogspot.com/2013/04/mini-makeovers-at-country-living.html
No comments:
Post a Comment