Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Finding Gems in the Sand

Wednesday Andrew and I celebrated three years of marriage. When its put in years it sounds like we have barely begun. It really is true though. I would feel robbed if I was only given three years of marriage with Andrew. What I love about my relationship with Andrew is that so much of the time it feels so easy. I remember one time crying over my old boyfriend to his mom, (sounds really weird but it was a long and complicated story) and why it may seem weird to bring this up during a post about my anniversary, I remember it because of what she said. She told me that when you find the right person it won't be hard. Not that love is always easy, but that I wouldn't have to try and force a relationship to work. We would both want it to.

Andrew has been my friend from the beginning. He has always been so good to me. Marriage is such a raw and vulnerable thing. You are naked in every way. Even though it is scary sometimes, I think you learn to love it. Because Andrew gets to see everything. He saw my smooth and young tummy turn into a huge pregnant belly. He helped me shower after giving birth to Blanche. He sees my stretch marks and my again growing belly with this new baby. And he loves me. That is the best feeling.

He is there when I have had the best day, and watches me take photos and create with my hands. Andrew is the one who wakes up to me pregnant and crying in the night. But when the new day comes, he never comments on how overdramatic I was, but offers to take me to get french toast. Real life love is so much more beautiful than anything you can see in a movie or read in a book. Its not always about passionate sex or going out to fancy restaurants. But having someone that sees all of me, even the parts I am still trying to discover, and that he says yes to those things, to all of those things, that yes is the most beautiful thing in the world.

How I feel about Andrew is everything he has shown to me. I love him because of how well he has loved me. I try to be the same to him.

Having children is similar to learning to be married. Because in a way you are married to each of your children while they live at home. There really is no way to get away. One might envision soft baby kisses and little baby toes. And while that comes with a baby, so does many nights of crying and wakefulness. Each year you fall more in love with that little person. Some how you love a naughty toddler more than you did when they were brand new. Blanche is a symbol of Andrew and I's love for one another. She shows us the good and the bad, and sometimes we can't believe that it was us that made something so beautiful and so exhausting.

Andrew and I had went out earlier this month for our anniversary and my birthday. So we spent the day as a family doing things like grocery shopping and excavating rocks. Andrew bought me a rock kit for our anniversary. We had so much fun making such a big mess. After we were all covered in dirt we went and jumped in the pool. It was a day when I wasn't expecting much but was pleasantly surprised by my love for my family.

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