I took these pictures before Easter. They were all on my camera from a few of our adventures as spring was arriving in central Texas. The funny thing is as I look through these pictures things just look calm and happy. Almost slow moving. Things are happy, and when we are at Showpa and Gigi's house they can also be calm and slow moving. But this last week, our lives have felt like everything is happening at once.
Well, first being 18 weeks pregnant and still nursing Rosemary, my milk supply has dipped very low (due to hormones). So, I had made the decision after a couple of long nights trying to nurse and feeling agitated that I would work on getting Rosemary back to sleep in other ways. She has always been a pretty good sleeper, but teething and other things have started to have her wake more occasionally. The reality of another baby on the way has sort of started to sink in. Although I am excited, I know this means Rosemary is getting closer to not being the baby anymore. Also, cutting out some of the comfort nursing at night while we co sleep could be the start of her weaning. It is really. Well, all of that said, once I began down this road both Rosemary and I got horrible colds and coughs... and she got pink eye in both eyes.
And since I am pregnant, of course that means we are also moving. Because the Nycums apparently like to "nest" really big. By moving every time I am having a baby. Actually, it just always happens this way. Because we are renting and because we like babies it has to fall on the same time at some point during the pregnancy. I actually like moving. I like to organize and ask, "What is this? Why do we have it?" about pretty much everything in our house. It really helps limit the amount of things we haul from place to place. It does take a lot of time though. And now Blanche also asks two or three of her own questions about each object in our house as we pack.
We have found a small duplex with a small yard in south Austin. Maybe one we move in I will do a blog post on how it is possible to have a family of 5 in 900 square feet. I'm sure a lot of the world would laugh at that post, but most Americans do seem to require much more space. I would often like more space, but I have come to realize a few things. First, a lot of what we are paying for is location. Our new place is six miles from Zilker Park and downtown Austin, not to mention being super close to a dozen other parks with hiking and creeks. We are also a lot closer to Andrew's work. His commute will go from an hour each way, to about twenty minutes. This is the main reason for moving south. Second, I am always desiring to simplify my life. And really, less stuff to mess with and less stuff to clean... well that simplifies things a lot. I am excited (and a bit nervous) for the challenge of continuing to grow as a family, but not really adding anymore space at the current time.
Moving is a fun adventure while we wait until we know more about what store Andrew will work at more long term, and while we save to be able to buy. One day I might be pregnant and we might not move. I'm sure it will be relaxing and confusing for me. One day I will also not be night weaning or even nursing a baby. One day I won't have a baby in diapers. One day life will just be different. I have been telling myself this a lot lately. Not because I want to wish anything away, but more to reassure myself that the exhaustion of pregnancy while nursing and co sleeping with small children won't last forever. I just have to cherish what I have now. I am reading a book by midwife Ina May. And something I am learning through women with powerful birth stories, is that the mind and the body are truly connected. My thoughts and my attitude does affect my body. Which affects my energy level and happiness. There is a reason that God has told us to be thankful.
Just like when moving, it can be easy to look at the good or the bad. I can focus on the cons or I can look at all the pros. I am growing up enough to know that Andrew can't work in the city and our family have a simple country life all at once. Like Andrew's mom told me over a year ago, different is just different, it's not bad. Sounds simple, but it has been something I have had to let myself see. The girls are getting amazing experiences in a city life. They go to farmer's markets and pet chicks and baby goats. Blanche has started trying to identify plants on our hikes. The girls love the outdoors and could care less if they are playing on the sidewalks in an apartment complex. Andrew works for a company that stands for and supports not only organic foods, but the preservation of nature and the care of a better world. We may not have chickens and collect our own eggs, or even a huge back yard. But we have trails and great parks and organic produce brought home almost every day. I live a very good life. It is freeing to accept what I have with gratitude and look forward with hope for a promising future. Life is busy. But it might not always be. Everything is a season. And when I look past the mess of my own home, I can see really clearly how life may not get much better than this. I am making and growing these beautiful babies with the love of my life. He has a job he loves. He gets to love people while leading them. I get to pour out myself in love each day for the children I am raising. The friends I have made in Austin are kind and generous and so supportive of this crazy thing called motherhood. I have loving family and some of the best in laws a person could ask for. The list could go on and on. But the truth is that there isn't just chaos and hard work in this life, there is a lot of happiness.
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