Well I'd be lying if I didn't say that the biggest thing on my mind lately has been the baby growing inside of me. Even now as I sit here and write, the baby has started moving a lot more... kicking and tumbling around. At night I lay down ready to sleep and then the baby starts to move, and so does my mind. Thinking about all the little things that soon to be new moms think about I guess. To be honest, the last few weeks have been discouraging at times. With the heat above 100 almost every day, and people constantly asking how close I am... which when I answer, "a little over 3 months left" I feel like it might as well be 3 years. All the while growing, growing, growing. Recently though, I have slowly been coming to realize that although no one promised me pregnancy would be easy... that it is worth every moment. I am so ready to hold our baby, but not until God's perfect timing.
I could go on and on about how this truly is God's perfect timing for this baby. So many things point to the fact that this is His child, His miracle, His blessing to us... Andrew and I are simply once again saying yes to the Lord to use us. I know I have to take one day at a time. When I think about the fact that we want a "big" family or how soon I could get pregnant after this first one... a lot starts to race through my mind. But God never gives us our whole future at once. He simply lets the sun rise . And its my choice to get up and say yes to the Lord and what He has for me. Whether thats working at a coffee shop, or not doing anything but being pregnant and resting... or whether that's waking up to my four kids one day. Or waking up in another country. Each day is the Lord's. Thank God.
Its also hard for me to completely explain to people what God is teaching and working in our family. Andrew and I haven't said never mind to doing ministry here or overseas. We haven't decided to settle down and pursue the American Dream. Andrew and I both feel God's conviction and peace to keep working and paying off my student loans, and while we have been doing that... we have also felt the Lord calling us to be parents. We both want to love people where we are, and to live simply and give abundantly. Even through the coffee shop God has shown me so much about people. Really, the main problem with people not loving one another like we should is misunderstanding. Such great misunderstanding between so many people. So, maybe thats my mission here in Arkansas... to stop trying to look around and find a person I feel is worth loving... but to really get to know someone... and then LOVE them. To stop looking around for the Christian you want to see and BE that Christian.