Sunday, June 30, 2013

Leaving Our Home

We are officially out of our home. All of our things besides our suitcases and a handful of things are in a storage unit in town. One of our good friends that Andrew and I both worked with for a time is letting us stay with her and her family for a week. Andrew is finishing work at the cafe, and then we will be heading down to Texas one week from tomorrow.

One of the many things in storage is my camera cord, so these pictures are ones taken this last week by Andrew and me on our phones. I love the first picture. Andrew took it as Blanche was napping on our last morning in our house. We had moved our mattress downstairs with the last handful of things left the night before. The upstairs was pretty much finished, and I envisioned a family slumber party in the living room. The reality was both Andrew and Blanche being asleep by nine thirty and me on my phone listening to our neighbors in their living room right beside my face. Blanche was then up with the sun as all of our curtains were down. I think I was restless to just leave. I get like that. I just want to do it. To finish. We had planned on fully leaving the house yesterday, on Saturday, and then coming back today to clean. But I was just sick of being there. So we pushed through and turned in our keys last night.

Andrew said he felt sad as he left the house the last time. Feeling mostly sad for the way we lived our life as a family in that little town home. But then he remembered that all of that was coming with us. I took a 90's style magnet from my cousin that is a fabric heart that says, "Home is Where the Heart is." Someone had left it in her apartment. She really didn't care that I took it. And now I'm glad that magnet is packed with the rest of our things. Because a lot of times in life the cheesy cliches are true. I remember my high school english teacher hating when we used cliches. And they are boring when thrown around carelessly. But what I think she wanted us to do was to find a new way to write what everyone already knew. All humans have the same heart beating in their chest, and even though at times we feel other people are annoying or have no idea what our life is like… most of the time that person is probably way more like us than we realize. I know I am not the first person to move. I am not the first person to leave my baby's first home.

I think I felt sentimental and extra sensitive. I think the killer for me was on our last night when Blanche entered her completely empty room and stood in her empty closet and did the sign for "home." I said, "Oh is this your home?" She responded in her sing songy, "Yeeaah." Of course I yelled down the stairs, "Andrew she is signing home!" To do the sign for home you pinch your thumb and first two fingers together and touch by your mouth and your check, because it is where you eat and where you sleep. And that's the funny thing about a home. Thats really what its for. And like my mother in law text me this week, as long as Blanche is with us she will be fine. We will all be fine. Because we have each other. And our little lives with our little things will continue in a new place. With new adventures.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Deciding to Move and Saying Goodbye

I feel like its been awhile since I've really been able to write a post and share whats going on in our lives in detail. Andrew really needed to meet with his current boss and talk through things before I felt the freedom to write about what our plans were.

Originally, Andrew had been pursing an electrician job and school. Our trip down to Austin was in part to see family, check out the area, and also for Andrew to stop by one of the companies and have an interview. He got the job. He was actually filling out the paperwork when all of the sudden he realized it wasn't what he was suppose to do. He was having to check boxes for things like "How many hours overtime each week" starting at 10-20. Or "How Far to Travel" starting at 1-2 hours. This job was looking like 50-60 hour weeks, plus travel, plus four years of school. And all to do something he knew would provide for our family, but he may never get to see our family. Andrew decided to trust that God had something different for us, and put his family first. I love that Andrew provides for us, yet does not compromise time with his family. He knows I need him. He also is not one to sell himself and his passions just for a paycheck. And I actually really admire that. I find most people who have a family and are torn between working all the time and family time, would maybe rather have a little less material objects and more quality time with family. At first it was hard to hear that we were talking few steps back in our move to Texas, but now I am thankful.

After coming back from our trip, Andrew and I kept talking about what is next. There are some details of our lives we aren't quite ready to share yet, but some of these details are that we are literally living pay check to pay check, and there isn't much higher Andrew can go in his current job. Neither of us have health insurance. We started to feel that honestly we can only go up from here… and maybe moving was the best way.Yes, we may have to take a couple steps back at first. Andrew has a couple of dreams jobs in Austin that would involve using his passions, but that might not be the first job he gets. We know there may be tough times ahead, but we are opening the door of opportunity.

So at the end of this month we will be out of our town home. We may stay with a friend for a week while waiting for an apartment in Austin. But hopefully we will be down there and setting up by mid July. This feels like a time where we are waiting and waiting and then all of the sudden the storm will be here. Not a bad storm, just moving across the country with a toddler type of storm.

I want to spend the next month just living my life like normal. Seeing my friends and Blanche and I doing our normal daily routine. Blanche and I have been heading out for walks and the park first thing in the morning before it gets hot, and then heading to the cafe to tell Andrew hi. Then we come in and eat a snack and watch a show. We are just living our lives and trying to prepare. I know I will miss many things about Siloam Springs. Like all the moms that live around me that pop over to say hi. I will miss my friends I've had for eight years now, the ones I met in college. I will miss walking every where and being able to kill a little time where Andrew works. I will miss friendly faces and small town life. But I am also ready to go. I remember when graduating college one of my friends just didn't want it to be over. But I was ready. I had completed my college years. I miss it at times sure. But I was ready for the next adventure. In similar ways I feel like my time in this small town where I went to college is coming to a close. I had never planned on staying here eight years, but they have been good ones. I made friends, met my husband, got married, and had my first baby in this little town in Arkansas. I am happy to have it be that. I am ready to see what is next in our life as a family now. I feel at peace moving forward.

*Side note: we canceled our internet but still have it!! Pretty awesome. Haha