I think for the first time in a long time I feel happy tired. Content. I don't have a huge desire to sit down and write out my soul. I do not feel alone or lonely. I feel happy and sun soaked. We have hiked three or four times in the last two weeks. We are making it a new part of our routine. Andrew and I, and really our girls too, need to be outside.
We went to Pedernales Falls State Park on Mothers Day. Andrew reminded me at the end of the day that it was just luck that it all worked out on Mother's Day. He is not huge on holidays. And even if he was he is not at a point in his career that he could make every holiday completely magical on the actual day. But it happened on Mother's Day.
I never knew that I even liked hiking before being with Andrew. I knew I liked laying on a blanket on our quad in college. I would write and read and soak in the sun. Then I met Andrew and my ideas of strange outdoorsy people were changed.
We were both in our early twenties, me about to graduate from college. Andrew would grab his hammock and hang it and we would lay by the creek in it together. He would read to me. The wind would blow us back and forth gently, and the sun would shine through the trees and kiss us on certain spots on our faces. It was a time that everything was new and divine. Discovering who we were. As I fell in love with Andrew, like so many often do, I feel in love with all of him. I liked the way he always had a water bottle with him. He could tie a million different types of knots in rope and wore Tevas that were dusty. My blanket outside quickly became a hammock. I started to love wandering through the unknown. Hearing the sound of rocks sliding under our feet and feeling the dirt dancing in the air. My curls would become wild and coarse. Blonde and sun soaked streaks dusty with dirt. I realized the earth was mystic and beautiful. I fell in love in the wilderness.
Maybe that is why I am drawn to it again and again. And why I bring my babies there as well. Many things happened on Mother's Day out at the state park. But mostly it was the feeling of remembering who I was. We all smelled earthy as we headed home on the winding country roads. We had swam in the river, hiked the trails, ate apples and a pear while sitting facing out of the back of our van. Life was good. We were happy tired.