Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Spring is what dreams are made of. There is something about spring that makes us want to come out of hibernation and grow things. Clean things. Be things. Well, at least that is what spring often does for me. I told Andrew last Sunday that I just wanted to "Spring Clean" the whole house, but normally I have a baby in my arms. He responded with, "What do you mean? Did you not just deep clean the whole house?" I once again tried to explain that cleaning the floors is not considered deep cleaning the whole house. I think men and woman just have different ideas on what deep cleaning really means. But I will say, when it comes to cleaning and organizing the kitchen, Andrew really is the master at that. We have had some pretty small kitchens in the life of our marriage... and he has always found a way to make everything fit.
On Monday Andrew had the day off, and it was the day before his birthday. I am always really bad at presents and honestly I would be a little scared to go shopping with both girls alone. If I did online shopping I know Andrew would see the transaction on his phone before he even got his present. And really, in the end, we are people who normally give gifts when it feels right, maybe not just because this is the "day" you are suppose to get a gift. Just like Andrew buying me my camera. So I had the idea to just let him go alone to pick out all of our herbs and little patio garden plants. To someone without small children, this seems like not that big of a deal. Anyone who has small children, knows it is a really big deal. I knew that Andrew would have much more fun alone than with free running Blanche and baby-wearing me along for the ride. Blanche was so excited after her nap when daddy returned. Andrew had such a big smile on his face, carrying strawberry and tomato plants, multiple types of basil, flowers, and other herbs. Sometimes in life a person can become so busy or distracted with the current life situation. A lot of the time Andrew and I can barely have a full conversation between a newborn and a toddler. But this moment, this moment when Andrew was walking up the stairs with plants and big bags of dirt, I saw so clearly why I had fallen in love with him. And that just as winter was ending and spring was coming, so would the chaos of life.
I was excited for Andrew to plant and had goals of cleaning off our back patio as well. The first couple of pictures show that Blanche is an "expressive" child. I guess most children are expressive, Blanche however is tactilely expressive. I told Andrew many days walking out to our back patio is like walking into Blanche's canvas. There are pots of dirt with chalk in them, spoons and dolls on the floor. She has put chalk on every surface to see what it will do. In my dream life, I would always let Blanche walk into her little outdoor studio and make as big of a mess as she desires. However, I am often nursing a newborn and cannot take the time to keep dusting and cleaning off Blanche every time she goes in and out. So, I decided that the pots of dirt should probably go for awhile. I had Andrew plant everything in the front, and he hung a beautiful succulent pot for me in the back.
Andrew and I either talk about or look at houses online almost every day. We keep discussing what it is that we truly want. Many who read this blog probably know my dreams of a bohemian farm. I would say Andrew dreams of that too. The thing is, we now sort of need that bohemian farm relatively close to the Austin Metro Whole Foods, because of Andrews current position. He will probably move around these several stores until promoted again. So, we are trying to figure out how these dreams and practicality can come together. I do know we will have a yard. And that Andrew will build Blanche and Rosemary another mud kitchen. (that post was only a year ago this month... and I can't believe how much Blanche has changed!)
I think the important thing that spring is reminding me, is to be myself wherever we are living. That it is okay to hang laundry line on every open patio space and hang my cloth diapers and wipes. We may not have a yard or a large garden, but Blanche is going to pick organic strawberries off of her very own patio. The key to happiness is learning to be happy where you are. Where I am. There are many reasons to feel overwhelmed. I do not think there are many people who thrive in the midst of crying children in a dirty house. But spring reminds me that I can clean. I can sweep the patios and feel better. Blanche and I can draw daddy a "Happy Birthday!" sign on our patio that he can see as he walks up the stairs after work. I can tell Blanche she is special and that I love her imagination. I can look and remember to talk to Rosemary through the day, even though she cannot talk back yet. I can love Andrew for all the reasons I always have, and we can dream together. I have always thought that without dreams life would not be too exciting anyways.