Saturday, March 8, 2014

The Man I Love

On the same day I wrote this post, the one about trying to work with the camera I had, Andrew bought me a new camera. And he hadn't even read that post yet. Andrew is not a huge card and gift giver, but when he does chose to get me something, it is always very heartfelt and normally something I would not spend the money on buying for myself.

It is not about the money that he spent, but more the reasons behind the gift that feel so loving to me. I know this is his way of saying "don't give up." As I often write, I love being a stay at home mom, but it isn't easy. I know many parents and mothers specifically that tend to loose themselves in the role of motherhood. It is so easy to do, because being a mother fills your heart so full that it can feel like there may not be room for much else. It also can make you so tired that sleep seems so much better than to pursue anything else once the day is done. I love Andrew because he sees the flame of creativity and passion for it inside of me. He knows I wish I had three hours every afternoon to do my own thing. Buying this camera for me was his way of saying to stick with the things I love and that it is possible to live my dreams. He told me the other night to do what I can. To think of the things that are possible in this short season of life with a toddler and six week old. For me, that is taking pictures of my girls and writing every chance I get. When Blanche naps in the afternoons I often nurse Rosemary on my lap and write my posts at the same time. Tonight Andrew ran an errand with Blanche and I am standing wearing Rosemary and typing and trying to dance her to sleep all at the same time. It is about fighting for what you want. Who you want to be. Andrew told me he wanted to surprise because he loved me and wanted me to pursue my dreams. Just like we did when we moved across the country to only a part time job at Whole Foods. We packed and went. Because we believe in dreams. Not that things haven't been hard. We are humbled by our own ignorant youth a lot. But that is also why it is great to live life young. You do things because of passion and not out of the knowledge you have yet to gain. Andrew now has a full-time leadership position at Whole Foods. With God opening doors and Andrew working hard he was able to start a career in something he was passionate about doing.

I know Andrew wants the same for me. Often the greatest writers and artists were discovered while they were just doing their own thing. Andy Warhol once said, "Don't think about making art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it's good or bad, whether they love it or hate it. While they are deciding, make even more art."

So that's what I am going to do.

(Also, these pictures were just a couple from us messing around with my new camera today. Andrew took the one of the flowers. He always takes such beautiful pictures of flowers. He is the nature photographer, and I am the documentarian.)

1 comment:

  1. Jeran, I love the little glimpses of life you paint with your words. You are a great mama and a great wife. You are doing a good job. :) I only have one baby, so I don't yet know the craziness of two. Keep going. You are living beauty in the midst of long days. Don't those carefree days of hopping on a plane to India seem so very far away? :) Miss you!